Your writing is better than most people’s on Reddit. Perhaps you are smart enough to change, but you are overwhelmed by looking at your entire life at once. That and maybe you lack a little bit of life experience which you can most certainly gain by trying things out. Try picking one thing at a time, getting something going ( not necessarily done ), and move on from there. I know a lot of people who found their spouses and friends in running clubs. You ran a marathon. Maybe you could join one of those? Maybe you can start doing the volunteer work to become a cop? Maybe you can find a similar job to what you have, but in another company. It might change things up for a while to make things feel less stale.