Many people just don’t think about their behavior. I had a housemate in college who I stayed friends with. He moved overseas. He comes back to the area 1-2 times a year to visit family and other people. He wouldn’t tell me about this until he was already in the country and a few days from leaving. Like you, I accommodated him as I could. My guess is that his brain hadn’t changed from when we were students and he could just knock on my door anytime. I got tired of it and turned him down. I truthfully told him I had plans and couldn’t meet him on such short notice. He got angry and complained about it to other friends. He felt insulted that he came from abroad and that I wouldn’t see him. I haven’t been in touch with him since ( years ). I had told him on a number of his prior visits that planning on such short notice didn’t work well for me and invited him to shoot me an email when he made his plans.