03/15/2025
there is such a thin line between use and abuse, recreational and problematic enjoyment. so thin it might not exist.. i work in the music industry. cocaine is a cup of coffee to many of my peers. i thought i was using to a recreational degree, myself, for many years. problem is: i wasnt employing the right mental framework to approach my use. i discovered powder cocaine in my late teens and was smoking crack by 21. i moved far, far away from all of the people in my life who were enabling me and got clean for a few good years. those good years, in the clean regard at least, ended when i started my career doing sound and touring the states. i was back to doing almost every drug imaginable real quick, except for anything intravenous thank goodness. it didnt seem to affect my relationships, because everyone i knew was doing the same thing. it didnt seem to affect my money, because i lived simply otherwise and was earning more than i ever had prior. it didnt seem that way, but it was affecting those things. point being: to me there is no level of habitual use that isnt abuse. at this point in my life ive changed how i see my habits and have accepted that i am an addict. ive been clean for 186 days longest (by far) since i returned to using almost 16 years ago. if youre asking about this because of someone in your life you are worried about then do what you can to help change their mind. to me, they wont change their ways until they change their mind. the mind is reeeally powerful. it has the capacity to supercede its own urges. it can do the work necessary but it needs help in a lot of cases. help them change their mind and theyll have a real fighting chance.