08/18/2025
A friend and I once got stopped in good old Cabrini Green in Chicago in the late 90’s – not a good place for a couple college kids to be. Seconds after pulling over, the passenger door swings open and the biggest cop I’ve ever seen rips me out of the car and starts screaming, “Where’s the crack?!?” while choking me so I open my mouth. I’m terrified. He proceeds to rip my friend’s car to pieces, pulls out the back seats and everything. Made me take off my hat, my sandals, even pulled the front of my shorts and got a look at my dick. His older partner was just giving us embarrassed looks like, “Sorry, he does this all the time…” Finally the big cop gives up, says, “You’re not here to buy crack?” We said no we’re college students, if we wanted illegal drugs we’d just go down the hall. We’re here to buy legal whippets from the porn shop. By then a big crowd had gathered watching all this, and they actually cheered when the cops realized they had nothing. Right before they pulled away I ran to the cop car and asked them if they knew where the porn shop was – they gave me directions lol. Funny thing was, there was a weed pipe under the passenger seat, and I had a bag in my pocket. The dude searched every last place but those two spots.