Are you the same person as /u/Amazing-Band4729 ? A job with a toxic boss and depending on praise/achievements at work can certainly set you up to see life as nothing but pain. You are doing the right thing by looking for another job. A new job will make a dramatic difference. You might want to consider therapy for reducing your habit of basing your self worth on your job. Yes, I know it is easier said than done. Procrastination and lack of discipline is about avoidance. You need to discover what you are avoiding and work that out. Perhaps a therapist can help you find what you are avoiding and suggest ways to face it. Take one thing at a time, get set up in it well, then move on to the next thing. You did the smart thing by starting a job search first.