/u/Creative_Carrot_7514 You have a right to feel a lot of pain and resentment. From my vantage point you just became super lucky and fortunate. I’ve met adults who grew up with hoarders. You avoided many problems by NOT having children with your wife. A person who was like a major tumor on your life up and left. You are free. I would like to suggest therapy to help you through your grief and eventually to end up with a better person.